It's a Small World...

The Disney Wonder was in yesterday and I had a few transfers with Disney groups, meaning there were a bunch of kids on my coach. I don’t know what came over me, but I decided to re-write the words of “It’s a Small World” to be about Juneau. The end product was this:

It’s a world of fun, that is free from cares

Where you’ll see bald eagles and maybe bears

You’re in Juneau, my friends

Where the fun never ends,

It’s a small world after all

I then yelled “everybody!” and we all sang the chorus together. Haha. I’m such a Disney dork. Last week when Disney was in we played quote time where I would talk about Alaska and Juneau, but when people got bored they’d holler “quote time!” and I’d give the kids a Disney quote that they would then have to guess which Disney movie it was from. The kids loved it. By the end they were just asking for more and more quotes and didn’t care two sticks about what they were seeing. I was actually really impressed with how good these kids were…I was giving some obscure quotes! I gave the following:

“See the hat??? I’m MRS. NESBIT! Bahahahaaa!!!”

A little 5-year-old in the front seat shouted out, “Buzz Lightyear! It’s Toy Story!” I was so impressed. That is by no means an obvious Toy Story quote. It tickled my heart and I know Bri would have been proud.

I got asked to stand in for the Sacrament meeting pianist today at church (thanks for those lessons mom and dad…I’m really grateful for them!) and then asked to speak in a few weeks as well. Phew! It’s been a while since I’ve spoken in church, but I’m excited.

Not much to report or tell as far as funny stories go, life just keeps plugging on. But it’s so exquisite. Life is just so exquisite.

FYE

Life here in Alaska continues on, as adventurous as ever. I had my first offer of marriage from a passenger the other day. My passengers were asking me if I wanted to “see old age” in Alaska and I told them my heart was in California, but that I might like a summer home here. They then asked me what I was studying and I told them American Studies and one man teased, “Oh, well you’ll probably have a couple summer homes with that!” We all laughed and I told them I knew as a teacher I couldn’t fulfill the summer home dream, but that I was planning on marrying a billionaire. They laughed and one hilarious old man from Britain called out in his adorable, almost impossible to understand, thick British accent, “I’m very wealthy…would you consider having me?” HAHA. Everyone LOVED that. We all laughed as I told him I’d get back to him on that.

Today my roommate and I finally finished unpacking. Huzzah! Today is one of 2 days in the season where we don’t have any ships in. A bunch of us employees had a big bonfire last night and were able to watch the cruise ships sail out of the channel, cruising right past us with their lights twinkling. It was actually very beautiful. So Angelica (my roommate) and I slept in until noon today—gotta soak it up while you can…I won’t get many more days like that—and then got up and unpacked while listening to Presidents Uchtdorf’s and Holland’s most recent Conference talks. What a lovely way to start the day, even if it was at noon. Anyway, while cleaning I came across some precious specimens that I wasn’t sure what to do with and so decided to post here for me to have access to them always, and share with others who might appreciate them.

My cousin, Catherine, has a gift. She is a talented storyteller. Yes, storyteller. Many times when meeting up with her after a class, she would approach me with a sly look on her face and hand me a carefully folded bunch of binder paper, informing me that she had written me a story or note. Well, let me tell you, these were always the highlights of my day. So while unpacking today I came across some of my favorites that I had saved for future posterity and decided to share them with you. I hope she doesn’t mind.

April 7^th

The Duped Mouse

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl with hair cut short and a skip in her step. Her name was Heather and she lived in a magical land called Freshonia. Freshonia was a beautiful land full of twinkling rainbows and giggling waterfalls. Mystical creatures abounded. Unicorns pranced in fields of pink grass. Pegasus flew in the skies full of cotton candy clouds and butter butterflies. Leprechauns ran around their pots of gold and patches of four leaf clovers.

One day Heather was merrily skipping through a field of singing flowers with puppies playing harps, harmonizing with the landscape. She came to a small meadow where she found a small mouse. This mouse, unbeknownst to her, was absolutely, clinically insane. There were very few evil, crazy characters in Freshonia so Heather didn’t even think that this was strange.

Well, this deranged mouse had been following Heather for a while. He hated happiness and cheeriness and Heather’s good spirits and loving kindness drove him deeper into his fits of insanity. This little mouse had devised a plan where he could stop Heather from spreading happiness where ever she went.

So Heather found this small mouse in the meadow. She looked down and addressed the creature with a sing-songy “Hello.”

The mouse then made his move. He jumped up and shouted, “Mwahaha! Oh you naïve joyful bombshell! You have fallen into my trap and now I will steal your happiness. Rattamwaha-rattamwahaha!”

Heather jumped back in terror and gasped at such a radical claim! She began to be terribly afraid and looked around for some sort of impending danger or doom that would steal her happiness. She waited in trembling tension for quite a while anticipating horrific things. The entire time the mouse was shaking with evil laughter, wringing his hands together hunched over in madness.

After a couple hours of this Heather got bored and impatient and said, “Look little mouse, I have a schedule. Are you actually going to do anything?” He paused and looked at her and was like, “You are in my trap! I have you here and am stealing your happiness!”

Heather then realized the mouse was so insane that he couldn’t even successfully plot a plan. She actually began to pity this creature cause he so convinced himself of the evilness and success of his plan. She decided to play along and in a very theatrical but clearly fake way began to thrash about screaming that happiness was leaving her. The mouse got so frenzied and excited and became happy!

After she put on this act she left the meadow and smiled cause the mouse had been duped. He wanted to stop her from spreading happiness when all he managed to do was enable her in this gift by becoming happy by her actions. He had been played and Heather went on her merry way and everything was magical and beautiful in Freshonia.

The End.

Lest you were worried that was the end of Catherine’s sheer skill, I am also included selected poems from her repertoire. The following were from a note she wrote me on March 3^rd entitled “Poems for Heather”

Poem 2

Ducks eat Broccoli.

Rabbits eat Beans.

I play monopoly

On your face.

Poem 3

My nickname is cat.

I think it is very phat.

Your nickname is Heath

cause it’s a shortened version of Heather.

And cause you’re also phat

(pretty hot and ticklish)

and cause you’re sweet like the candy,

Boom. You’ve been poemed.

Poem 4

This is a story of what you should do

If you follow these instructions you will go far.

It might involve a little poo,

And an interview with a tsar.

Beware of accidentally consuming a drink

And then trying to navigate a car.

These things can happen to us too.

So always avoid men named Lars.

Poem 5

Choc-o-late pie rocks!

Makes my tummy want to sing.

Creamy delicious!

Poem 6

Ample evidence would supply

That I love you more than pie.

Your laugh is like shaking tree,

It brings joy to you and glee to me.

Your left toe is like a human carrot.

of awesomeness, ferociousness, and skin.

I am honored to be related to you

Coo-coo Kachou.

Poem 7

Jump.

Dump.

Thump.

The sounds of a panicked monkey.

Mew.

Phew.

Stew.

The smells of a monkey dinner.

Ick.

Sick.

Tick.

The post-dinner monkey ache.

Love,

Catherine

You Can Call Me Al

Fabulous day. Long, busy, hectic, but fabulous. Got to the yard at 6:45 am, finished at 4:45 pm and had a blast everywhere in between. I had two full tours today, both servicing guests from the Carnival’s Spirit cruise ship. These people were FUN. They laughed at my dumb jokes, listened to my commentary attentively, and played along with my goofiness, all the while teasing me mercilessly.

Today was another absolutely GORGEOUS day. Sun shining, clear blue sky, perfect. So after everyone had settled on my bus when I picked them up on the dock, I jumped in and hollered, “ALOHA!” They laughed and answered back with their “Aloooooo-HA!” I continued by welcoming them to the tropics of Juneau, Alaska, explaining that this weather was rare and that they must be good luck because they brought the good weather with them! (Although it was sunny and blue skies, they were all still bundled up in coats and hats because it was still pretty nippy out.) Anyway, that broke the ice pretty well and they were very congenial after that.

During my introduction and safety speech I always emphasize my name and bus number a billion times because people always forget and then get on the wrong bus. So I was telling them my name and bus number and could tell they were a group that would eat the goofiness up, so I finished by saying, “if you forget my name, you can just call me ‘beautiful’ and I’ll respond to that.” They LOVED that, and the funny thing was, a good portion of them called me “beautiful” for the rest of the day. HA. Love it. One gentleman got off the bus at our first stop and, pointing to his wife coming down the stairs behind him said to me, “Beautiful, meet Lovely.” Too cute. When I picked my group up from their first stop there were 3 buses waiting for passengers right next to me, all with female drivers waiting outside their buses. My passengers kept coming up and saying “We found you, Beautiful. You’re definitely the prettiest one!” HAHA. I was feeling pretty good about myself by the end of the day, let me tell you. It was fun that they went along with it.

Some of the men love to tease me. Because I drill my name and bus number into their heads so forcefully, they’ll come back to the bus at each stop and say, “Nice to see you again, Wendy” or “I was worried we wouldn’t find you, Jill” calling me the wrong name every time, followed by the wrong bus number on purpose. They’re so funny.

But man, these people ate it all up. It was such a fun experience having two groups who liked me and clicked with me and were interested in what I had to say and laughed at stupid things I said. I’ve realized most of these people just want a good time. I can still give them cool information, but I can definitely be myself and be a spaz and they love it even more (and tip even better! I got a new record for my season thus far with tips totaling at $69 today! I was VERY happy with that because Carnival guests are notorious among bus drivers for not tipping.) Even better than the tips though were the handful of passengers today who came down the stairs at the end of my tour and thanked me sincerely, saying it was a wonderful time, or that I had done a fabulous job and they had thoroughly enjoyed themselves, or that the tour was so well done. It just made me feel good that I had been able to help these people have a positive experience here in Juneau. Gee, I love my job.

Friday the 13th

Jean and Alf. My whopping two and only passengers that I had all day today. These two 80's- something London natives were adorable, let me tell you. Alf was in a wheelchair (which forced me to get handy with our wheelchair lifts on the bus) and couldn't really speak. Occasionally he would mumble something utterly incomprehensible and then his wife, Jean, would translate for me. I really had no idea how she understood him--it honestly would just be a groan or moan, but always with a big,toothless smile and twinkly eyes. He would just sit there, mouth open, lips curled under, grinning at me as I helped him in and out of his wheelchair lift. When I picked them up from their first stop, the wildlife boat tour, Jean said they were tired and wanted to skip the glacier and head straight back to their ship. Since they were my only passengers, not a problem. But as I was getting ready to pull out she called up, "Alf says he wants to see the glacier after all." How did she get that? All I heard was an extended moan. She must be a wizard. Harry Potter has ruined me. Now I find myself assuming anyone with a British accent is a witch or wizard. And we get a lot of people from England here.

Anyway, I drove them over to the glacier and when we were about a minute away, I told them to watch out the right side of the bus since we were approaching. As we drove by, I slowed down so Jean could snap a couple photos. She ooohed and aaahed and I told her a little bit about the glacier as we drove off. We got right outside the park and I asked Alf how he had liked it. Well, according to Jean's translation he had fallen asleep just as we passed by! HAHA. So I turned around and took them by again so Alf could get a peek. It was hilarious, as we were passing by for the second time, I told them to watch out the right side again and then watched Alf in my passenger mirror to make sure he wasn't asleep. He had a content grin on his face, but was looking in the total wrong direction. Jean noticed and kept saying, "Not there. Look over here." He would move his head in the wrong direction again and she'd say "No, no. Look right here. It's right here." (It was pretty much taking up the entire view from the right side of the bus.) Well, finally he got his head pointed in the right direction and Jean was satisfied. Pretty funny. I was cracking up inside.

I wish I had the energy to write about life here so far, but after my first huge post got erased I just can't bring myself to write it again. I kept putting off posting because I didn't want to write it all again and finally realized I'll just have to start with the present or else I'll never post again. So hopefully past experiences will come in the future. But I just had to write about Jean and Alf today; they tickled me so.

Saddest day

Oh my friends. I just spent the last hour and a half writing a blog post about the beginnings of my stay here, but it somehow got deleted. I want to cry. I definitely do not have the "umph" to write it again. Dang. I'll see if I can muster it up tomorrow, maybe. Sad day. Hope things are well with everyone!

Heather